Bernard "Bernie" Black is a highly-skilled thief who always has a good plan to get the goods and get out before anyone notices. His latest mark is a large necklace with the famous "Blue Heart Diamond" owned by famous billionaire and womanizer John Maiden, currently worn by his daughter Crystal.
The plan was simple: pose as Crystal's driver, slip something into her champagne, and then take the diamond while she slept in the backseat from the drug. Unfortunately, things don't quite go as planned. First, she throws the heart off a cliff just to spite her father, then tells Bernie in a drunken stupor that it was a fake all along, and the real Blue Heart is locked in a safe at Maiden's mansion. So Bernie falls on a Plan B, carrying a passed-out Crystal into the mansion and then stealing the diamond there. However, things get worse when the diamond is stolen by his rival thief and childhood friend Lily, who casually walks out the door but not before kicking Bernie in his own family jewels.
Enraged at the loss of his jewelery, Mr. Maiden summons Madame Ichi, the leader of an elite group of assassins called MADAM, to do whatever it takes to get the Blue Heart back even if it means killing the thieves. Madame Ichi responds by summoning ten beautiful assassins (dun-dun-dunnnnn) ranging from a dominatrix and a biker chick to a french maid and a policewoman to hunt them both down. However, when Bernie escapes with Crystal in tow, and Lily has trouble fencing her product, the plot starts getting even more complicated.