<The lights arise and two figures are revealed on stage. On a young girl, 16 years old with purple hair in a short bob, Superevil225. She is dressed in a red 40’s style dress with tall black boots and a black belt around her waste. To Superevil’s right is a young boy, no older than 12 with the sexual drive of a repressed bisexual teenager. Across his chest is a harness with a leash.>
Superevil: Um….. Eh….. Hi…. I guess….. H-how’s it g-going? <She shakes and stutters uncontrollably.>
Caius: Bitches welcome! Who wants a taste of some Caius? <Suddenly Caius whelps as a buzzing sound resonates through the hall.>
Superevil: I’m keeping you under control! I’ve set an electrical charge to go off every time it detects lasciviousness. I mean… um… if you don’t mind.
Caius: Of course I mind! How can you expect me to dirty talk my little Crow-Crow on live TV. You’re such a party pooper. <He pouts indignantly>
Superevil: You’re my “Id” and you’re my creation. I’ve got to keep you in line.
Caius: Fine… Let’s get onto the awards! Oh! But not before I make an announcement! Ladies and gentlemen, the “Hot Night With Craius” will be on sale November 23 due to popular demand. Oh! And Crow, honey, you’re very well hun—GAH! <Another shock goes off.> You can’t stop me, woman.
Superevil: Umm… Could you please tone it down? We’re live you know…
Caius: All the more reason Syd—
Superevil: NO NAMES!
Caius: But everyone knows you’re name already.
Superevil: But… what if they steal my identity?
Caius: Ha? With you’re first name?
Superevil: C-Canada doesn’t have a large population. Umm…. Can we start?
Caius: ALRIGHT! Let’s go ho!
Biggest Compensation Of The Month
Superevil: Umm… This goes to Crow for his 1 Million Volts shot. Congrats on your compensation Crow.
Caius: Oh… trust me, he isn’t compensating—Oww! It’s true though!
Battle RPG Of The Month:
Caius: The winner, by a landslide, is Callis vs. Paladin!
Superevil: I think they have an adorable bromance.
Caius: Such a brolationship!
Superevil: No sexual comment my little abomination?
Caius: Not when it comes to bromance. The homosexual undertones are obvious enough already.
Story RPG Of The Month:
Superevil: We’ve got a two way tie here! Are you ready? Caius, can I get a drum roll? <Caius nods and smacks his buttocks, only to receive a shock.> The winners are “A New Shadow Is Cast” and “Crow Must Die”. Congrats!
Caius: How long do you think it will take for “Crow Must Die” to become pornographic?
Superevil: Two days.
Bloodcurdling Moment of The Month:
Caius: Dun dun dun dun dun……. Me torturing my big brother!
Superevil: I had fun writing that~!
Caius: Lady… you f*cked up.
Most "What The Shit?" RPG of The Month:
Superevil: Did we expect anything other than “Wizarding School of What The Hell”?
Badassery Of The Month:
Caius: That fine peace of ass—Gahh! /Ahem/ Dahlia standing up against Raseri!
Superevil: And well deserved too! Power to the ladies!
Funniest Moment Of The Month:
Superevil: Not so surprisingly, this moment won a few awards. The winning moment is… Caius kissing Crow! I swear you’re all secret yaoi fans.
Caius: I thank you so much for writing me. I couldn’t ask for a better writer.
Superevil: For a complete douche, you’re sweet!
Most Embarrassing Moment Of The Month:
Caius: I AM SO HAPPY TO WIN THIS AWARD ONCE MORE.
Superevil: Crow/Caius forever. <Starts to cry.>
Best Big Baddie Ownage Of The Month:
Superevil: Newdeath beating Vital Shot is the winner! Aww… now I miss Victor.
Caius: Hey… Evil… Whip cream—Owie!
Best Goodie-Two-Shows Ownage of The Month:
Caius: What the f*ck?
Superevil: Yeah, we have two winners. Emerald in A New Shadow is Cast separtating Ebisu members, and Crow pwning noobs.
Superevil: Yeah, I added that for panache!
Sort Of In The Middle Ownage of The Month:
Superevil: Seriously guys?
Fresh Meat Of The Month:
Caius: I could use some fresh meat. In my mouth <He whelps as the shock sparks.> I swear I can smell something burning.
Superevil: Oh… I hope you’re okay. Anyways, our winner is Zero/Kurai! Watch out for Caius!
Caius: Rawr. <He winks>
Sexiest Hunk Of The Month:
Superevil & Caius: Yummmm…. Raseri…
Sexiest Babe Of The Month:
Caius: Get over here Dahlia, you sexy b*tch. <Bzzzt!>
Superevil: You’re disgusting.
Caius: You made me.
Lolita/Shota Of The Month:
Caius: Me!! And deservingly so!
Superevil: Yes. You are the ultimate shota. Be proud. Did you know Caius, in Latin, means Jail Bait?
Villain Of The Month:
Superevil: This one’s a three-way tie between Newdeath, Zella, and Kuro-San.
Caius: I love Zella~
Hero Of The Month:
Caius: My darling! I’m so proud! I’ll make tonight extra special and frisky for you.
Superevil: Congrats Crow… I’m so sorry.
Neutral of The Month:
Superevil: Give me a J (J!). Give me an A(A!) Give me a C (C). Give me a K…!
Superevil: learn to spell. >.>
Best Hair Of The Month:
Caius: Wasn’t there a fight about this earlier in the month?
Superevil: Yeah. And it hasn’t been solved. The winners are: Mugen, Callis, Count of Monte Cristo, and Vincent Chaevalier.
Caius: Get a life!
Superevil: Bad boy! <smacks>
Character Conundrum Of The Month:
Superevil: Deservingly so… Callis!
Caius: Psst… Cal! Grow some balls and take Harumi from behind.
Body Builder Of The Month:
Superevil & Caius: Raseri. :D
Scariest Of The Month:
Superevil: Zella! Congrats!
Caius: She isn’t creepy! She’s sexy.
Bat-Shit Insane Chump of The Month:
Caius: I knew I’d win. Superevil’s my writer. She’s insane.
Couple Of The Month:
Superevil: <sniff> Yaoi forever will rule the world.
Caius: The winner is Craius! Coined by me. Oh I love my little Crow~Crow.
Character of The Month:
Caius: This one’s a two-way tie!
Superevil: The winners are Crow, and Caius
Caius: F*ck yeah!
Most Creative of the Month:
Superevil: Another tie, this one is between Crow and Kuma!
Caius: My darling~! You’re doing so well!
Writer of The Month:
Caius: I’m proud to give this award to my little writer, Superevil!
Superevil: I are prouds… to get award… I’m’s writes be well.
Vicer of The Month:
Superevil: Holy crap!
Caius: FOUR WAY? That's almost an orgy!
Superevil: Yes, dear abomination. Four ways!
Caius: Crow, Kuma, Raseri, and Superevil! Take a bow! Now, Superevil… did you rig this?
Superevil: Um… aha… heh…. No… >.>
Superevil: Congratulations to Raseri! You've been (by popular demand) to host the next awards!
Caius: That concludes these awards. Remember to pre-order your Craius tapes. Pre-order closes in a few weeks!
Superevil: Thanks guys... Um.... Okay.... Now I'm getting s-so nervous..... Um....Shit... There are actually people.... Eh.... Bye~!