DocHaus (Level 18)

It's no use, I'll have to use...THAT!
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I'm bored, I'm listening to blues music in the background, and I'm going to try and use this valuable time by slapping down some quickie reviews of various animu I've been watching on and off over the past month. Some of it is recent, some is not, but feel free to read it and then draw your own conclusions:
Solty Rei: Started out interesting, but then seemed to forget where it was going. A cop on the edge with nothing left to lose? Fine. Have him fighting people with cybernetic enhancements? Fine. Give him a green-haired cyborg to replace his missing daughter? Fine. But then you throw in a well-known thief who has no trouble walking around in broad daylight, a few supposedly-deep villains that last only 1-2 episodes, and a quirky team of car-named girls who don't seem to do much more than get outsmarted and smacked around and eventually killed off? It felt kind of like the movie Hancock in terms of progression, where it felt like the writers were trying to insert four different stories instead of a clear one.

It wasn't a bad show, just kinda boring and forgettable.

Speed Grapher: Apparently, they spent most of the budget to license "Girls on Film" by Duran Duran for the opening theme. The entire main cast seems to be full of people who just can't get laid unless they do something that kills other people while they're doing it. Hence, the whole "Euphoria" shtick. The main character (Saiga) can only get hard while holding a camera, he fights villians ranging from a rubber-suit man to a guy who loves dentistry a little too much.

Plot? Oh yeah, basically, the girl who gives these "Euphorias" all their powers is a walking, talking MacGuffin.

Sounds strange, doesn't it? However, it's actually a decent show, and if you are not against the gratuitous sex and violence sprinkled liberally throughout the show you'll probably like it.

Sumomomo Momomo: I decided to watch this thing on a lark after hearing about it on AV. I guess this show is what would happen if you gave a high-school-aged Phoenix Wright an unwanted harem, and that harem was composed of girls who all had martial arts skills from some generic action anime.

The plot here revolves around a guy named Koushi who is studying to be a prosecutor, and then finds out he was part of an arranged marriage to this little pink haired girl who wants to make babies with him at nearly every opportunity. Everyone wants him to be a great martial artist, even his father, but he just wants the comfort of his law books while some secret war of the zodiac rages on around him, sort of. Depending on your POV, this show is either really hilarious or real fucking annoying (hearing the pink-haired thing scream "KOUSHI-DONO!" over and over nearly made me quit).

For an extra challenge, try saying the title five times over.

Burst Angel: The crime ridden streets of a semi-futuristic Tokyo are no match for a lady scorned, especially if she has a pair of pistols and a gigantic fucking mech (excuse me, "Cybot") that no one seems to notice. Feel free to take a shot of hard liquor every time Meg gets kidnapped or taken hostage, and take another shot when Jo angrily yells at the nearest teammate about the need to save her. You'll probably die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the series. Some yuri overtones present, but other than that this series feels rather forgettable.

Bakemonogatari: Trades in a lot of puns that probably make more sense in the original Japanese. I'm still not entirely sure what this thing is about, but it's definitely a little more interesting than the generic crap I've been watching. Definitely surreal with some strange animal spirits that seem to be fucking with people (a crab god that makes a girl weightless, a snail that makes a loli unable to find her home). This show is awesome, and you should totally watch it.

Needless: If Bakemonogatari is the anime equivalent of an abstract painting in an art gallery, Needless is the kindergartner's crayon drawing hanging on some proud parent's fridge. A true homage to 90's action anime where everyone calls out their attacks, the personalities and powers are twisted to the extreme, and the clothes of any female fighters inevitably get ripped or torn off during and after battles. You'll probably find it amusing, especially when you see the ED contains little more than three little girls macking on each other.
Or as a friend of mine put it: "They sold me at Dragonforce music, a guy who looks like Dr. Wily, and ludicrous fanservice enough to choke an anthropomorphic horse."

Princess Lover: No one else seemed to care about this series, so I figured I'd give it a shot. It's the only show where you'll see a horse-drawn carriage inexplicably outrun a sportscar. Some poor Japanese kid somehow inherits a giant fortune, gets thrown into a super-rich school, and manages to have four different girls with large breasts all wanting to jump his bones by the end of the first 2-3 episodes. Oh, and he has a sword, just because. If only it didn't take itself too seriously, it would be a little more interesting. Otherwise, it's standard wish fulfillment with a PG-13 flair. On the other hand, there are a couple of episodes with an awesome butler guy, I'm talking like a more serious Klaus from Hayate the Combat Butler.

Fight Ippatsu! Juuden-Chan!: Something about little girls in tight rubber suits sticking giant plugs into people to make them less likely to become "an heroes". Basically, if you have a latex suit and/or loli fetish you'll probably like this one. Not exactly my style. The only thing I like about this show is that the first male lead isn't some whiny angsty teenager but a guy with a baseball bat who actually stands up for himself. Then again, there's one girl who apparently enjoys getting smacked by said bat.

Upon further reflection, I'm starting to think that this is a parody of the "magical girl" genre. Either that, or just another show that shouldn't be shown to little kids.

Feel free to agree or disagree with me in the comments.
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