damswedon (Level 16)

I unlocked 12 Xbox Live achievements yesterday: http://t.co/S8YEPsDk
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I can count the number of visual novels I've played on Anne Boleyn's right hand.

  1. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
  2. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All
  3. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
  4. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
  5. Professor Layton and the Curious Village
  6. Love Hina Date Sim RPG

In fact that final one is the reason why I started to watch anime in the first place. Anyway, I started to hear about a Visual Novel about disabled people that has roots in the cesspool called 4Chan. My first reaction was "well that is what I expect from there", but I then started to hear that it is, surprisingly, not the scum-sucking piece of shit that it sounds like. That it might actually be thoughtful and might even be called good. So I decided to jump head first into the damned thing and I might as well write about it while I’m doing it

Just so you know I'm dong this by feel, I have no idea who I might end up with, hell I might even end the game all alone. I will underline and bold all choices that I make but I won't always say what they all were. Also If I end up writing something offensive at all I'm truly sorry, I know this can be a delicate matter for people so if I do offend you just write me off as a fucking internet moron and move on.

I start in a snowy forest. I’m told that it is a popular area for couples. A note in my hand says to meet here at 4:00PM. I pass the time thinking philosophically about the world, “The Snowflakes falling from the white-painted sky are the only sign of the time passing in this Stagnant world.” Then a sound from behind startles me. “Hisao? You came?” I turn to face the person.

My heart begins to beat heavily. I try to start some kind of conversation using that all time classic “Here we are. Out in the Cold.” A gust of wind shocks our bodies and with my heart in my mouth. She begins to talk but before she can finish her sentence I step towards her and plant my lips on hers. When our lips finally part she whispers “Take me.” and I do.

The End.

Well that wasn’t all that bad. It was very short, the music and art wasn’t that bad but I don’t see why it took five years for it to be made.

Okay, okay. That isn’t how it goes. The truth is I have a heart attack. No really look.

I’m told I have Arrhythmia and had to live the last four months in hospital. Not surprisingly, I’m totally fucking bummed out by this fact. The girl that was there when I had the heart attack visited for about six months before she stopped coming. One day the Doctor comes to tell me and my disembodied parents that I can leave. Yay! back to my old school where I can live out the rest of my school life being known as the strange kid that has a heart attack every time a girl touches him. Life is going to be awesome!

Actually I’m told that my parents have enrolled me into a boarding school for disabled students to have a normal education. The place is called the Yamaku Academy and has a “24-hour nursing staff on hand” I’m pretty much told I have no choice in the decision, that I’m going if I like it or not.

I’m dropped of at the gates to my new home some time later. I make my way towards the Main Entrance and mentally comment on how creepy the place is while it is empty. In the main entrance I meet a man called Mutou. He says he is my homeroom teacher and that I have to see the nurse later on in the afternoon. We walk to classroom 3-3 and he asks me If I want to introduce myself or if he should do it. I say I will and he goes in first. I read myself and step in to see my classmates.

I introduce myself and get a round of applause from everyone but the girl with only one arm. They are either being polite or I have serious charisma. Mr Mutou then begins to talk and when he is done he also gets a round of applause. Which is weird. Hell this time even the girl with one arm claps. I guess I’m not as charismatic as I hoped. Mutou says we are going to do some group work and pairs me up with Shizune Hakamichi the class representative, saying she’ll be able to “explain things to me”.

I take a seat next to Pinky who it turns out isn’t Shizune and is in fact Misha Something-something. The blue haired girl next to her was the actual person I was looking for. Pinky here is just her interpreter. Turns out Brain (you know pinky and the brain) is deaf and mute. Mutou must of been messing with me with the “explain things to me” line. We joke about our names and honorifics in that way I will just never be able to understand. They offer to give me a tour of the school later and then we do our work until lunch.

The three of us head down to the Cafeteria. There is a wide range of food which is probably because there are many varying dietary needs for the students. You know, instead of the school just being super nice about how much food they will serve. We sit down at a table and I ask where the Library is, Pinky tells me where it is and then the two start to have a conversation between themselves. It’s just a quiet conversation what with Brain being deaf and mute and all that.

When lunch is over we head back to class to find a girl with long straight black hair.

I'm talking about her.
I'm talking about her.

While playing this part for the first time (I’ve ended up playing this section three times while writing this) I realised I had a problem. I can’t remember Japaneses names to save my life. Hell I can’t remember names full stop. So I’m using nicknames. Thing is I don’t want the nicknames to be based entirely on the disabilities of the characters. While I did name Pinky based on the fact that she has pink hair, one of her physical traits, I think that is acceptable because I’ve used the same nickname for characters in shows like Saki and Bodacious Space Privateers (they are not Pirates they have a Letter of Marque). So what is my problem here? Because I’m going into this with barely any prior knowledge I can’t just default to her real name because I don't know it. I could just read the website to find out, but I don't want to ruin the experience. So either I have to come up with a nickname based on what I’ve seen so far (and I’m not sure naming her after Old One-Eye the unkillable T-Rex from the fantastic 2000AD series Flesh is a good idea, or that PC). Or I could just refer to her as The Girl With Straight Hair (TGWSH), or I could write this paragraph explaining that I tried to avoid the whole thing.

We sit in our seats and finish the day’s classes. I realise that I’m surprisingly tired and begin to wonder if this a side effect of staying in hospital doing sod all but read for four months. When the final bell comes Pinky and Brain say that they have some work (trying to take over the world) to do so they can’t give me a tour of the place, but they will take me to the nurse before they leave me to my own devises.

The nurse turns out to be a dude (bummer). He gives me a rundown of the facility and says that the place is equipped for almost any medical situation, except for brain surgery. Not only is he not a hot woman he also makes terrible jokes. He also says that I can’t play football (soccer-football not hand egg-football) I’m starting to hope for a “go crazy and kill the Nurse” ending. However there is a pool. After that I head to my dorm for some rest. Before I go in my room (119) I introduce myself to room 117, Kenji.

Kenji is already my favourite character, first thing he does is ram his face into yours to see you, due to him being short-sighted. It then turns out he is a paranoid conspiracy nut. First thing he does is tell you he was spying on two people who went into your room, who turn out to of just been your parents. He also tells you to trust no-one but yourself then goes back into his room. I go into my room and take my medication and go to sleep.

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