NOTE: This will be a rambling post. Sorry I just really need to talk about this to keep myself sane.
So Space Brothers started airing in Apr 2012, almost 2 years ago from today. Since then it has been nothing but amazing. For a while I was pretty dedicated every Saturday working on the episode pages of Space Brothers, writing plot summaries and adding screenshots! It really let me delve deeper into the story and gain an appreciation for it.
But at what cost? I've done this with other anime like Hanasaku Iroha. I think once Hanasaku Iroha I also had similar emotions that I'm feeling now. Like I think a part of me never really considered the possibility that Space Brothers would end. So when two weeks ago I saw on MAL that it was of 99 episodes, and I just finished watching ep98... I didn't really believe it. Space Brothers over the past 2 years has been the anime I always came back to, and truly looked forward too every week.
After watching a single episode of Space Brothers, I felt alright again. Even when things got busy with school, and I basically dropped away from anime almost entirely, when I finally did get around to watching anime, I always had room in my heart for Space Brothers. It's not just the end of a series for me, it's the end of a period of life, and a reflection on what I've done in that period of my life.
I suppose this is part of the beauty of watching a series as it airs. You have regular intervals for watching something, which helps frame whatever else is happening in your life. Yeah I guess in some sense I really committed myself to watching this series, by working on the wiki each week and such. I did something similar with Hanasaku Iroha, so that helps explain why I felt so sad after that series ended as well.
And the thing is, I know there's the manga, I know the story continues and that Space Brothers manga is still ongoing. And I'm still kicking around the idea of paying for CR's full access membership and reading the manga. But at the same time like I said.. this really feels like the end of an era for me. Coming this summer, basically 2 months from now I'm gonna be graduating. And again sorry if this sounds like a super sob story, but like I said, this post is more to keep myself sane than anything. But basically I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't go back to summers of watching anime and working on the wiki (which is what I did with Space Brothers and lots of other anime).
Then another part of me is just scrambling to find "the next Space Brothers" or "the next Hanasaku Iroha" that will tide me along and make me feel alright again. And maybe I'll have something new and fun to think and write about. But then what? Man you know, I can't count the number of times I've sincerely thought to myself over the past years "I don't know", "I give up". But somehow I've still got stuff done, and here I am graduating. Space Brothers has been a part of that plodding along, and now that it's gone I face again the "what now?" question.
Another part of me wants to start over from the beginning and live it all over again. But there will only ever be one first time, and all repeats will just chase after the first experience, which has long gone. I've done this with games in the past like the PS1 Final Fantasy games, or more recently the Mass Effect trilogy (read last year). I played the crap out of those, to the point where they no longer invoke the same sense of wonder and joy I had the first time experiencing it.
Man, yeah I duno how to end this blog without it feeling like a complete downer. Yeah I guess it's normal too feel sad when an anime you really enjoy ends, and there will always be more anime to enjoy around the corner. And yeah I've been enthusiastic about other anime, but you know there has been something really unique about anime like Space Brothers or Hanasaku Iroha. No other anime have I really been so warm-heartedly enthusiastic about. I guess you could say all anime I watch have a place in my heart, some bigger than others. I hope in the future I can continue to look back on the anime I watched and have no regrets. But again, I duno.