akronawol17 (Level 10)

I think i'm going to take a break from anything Bastard related for a while... A long while...
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i'm so confused right now. i don't know what i'm doing, where i'm going or anything. there are so many expectations for me, so much pressure, i just don't know what to do anymore.

i'm 19 years old, still a senior in highschool, no license, no car, no job and abysmal grades. i'm being pressured to go to college, even if don't want to go, it doesn't matter. i wanted to be a videogame designer or developer... originally. but now... i just don't know. now i'm considering a career in Youtube as a Let's Player, even though i'm not funny, handsom, witty, entertaining or friendly. i've got the kind of step dad that will want me gone as soon as i finish school (hell, he would've already kicked me out if it weren't for my mom), and i have no money. i don't want to end up living in my parent's house for the rest of my life.

i'm being pushed, pulled, pressured, nagged at, encouraged, and demotivated about every facet of my life. future. college. home. car. job. money. money money money money. i can't breath! i can't sleep! i can't fucking relax for five fucking minutes without feeling like my life is pointless and i have no future! i just want to be happy... but i'm not... and i don't think i will be for a long time if ever...

sorry for this rant... i just needed to vent. i'm in a really stressful and depressing moment in my life, and its really getting to me. i apologize to whoever reads this...

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