The Accountant - Jardsam Shinoda Bio

Topic started by Jardsam on March 18, 2014. Last post by Kuma_From_Argentina 1 year ago.
Post by Jardsam (31 posts) See mini bio Level 6
"Oh, go on then."

- Jardsam Shinoda

As a mortal, while growing up, Jardsam Shinoda was normally quiet person, one who prefers to sit back and observe, analysing others before making his move. He played chess the same way he battled; rarely looking at the board, constantly watching his opponent, prying into their minds and finding out their weakness. Once a flaw in his opponent has been found, he will strike mercilessly. If he can't find a gap, he will tear his opponent apart until they break under the pressure, and Jardsam will force this weakness until his enemy is a quivering mess on the floor.

As well as his analytical and brutal nature, Jardsam is an odd mix of meek and prideful. He knows he is skilled and intelligent, and can run rings around other people, but years of getting his ass handed to him due to his pride has ground the fact that arrogance costs lives. Most of his bravado is a facade, as he has found that if people see him as a brash, underhanded loudmouth, that they fail to realise how he's analysing them, constantly calculating.

However, the depths Jardsam is willing to descend to in order to achieve his ends is bottomless. He is akin to a very focused explosive: He has a very stable fuse that only explodes with the bomber's permission, and when he lashes out, the carnage is accurate, deserving, and devastating, like a cold berserker that retains his sharp intellect, destroying his target physically, emotionally and intellectually.

Jardsam is also incredibly curious and headstrong, but hides most of this behind his many 'faces'. He acts several different roles constantly, changing personalities like ties, always becoming whoever or whatever he needs to be in order to get the job done. Should he need to be a rolemodel, a white knight to inspire others, he will fight honourably to the end and claim moral superiority, but in the dark when it's just him and his enemy, he is not above any low tactic or usage of foul play in order to meet his goals. If his enemy draws a knife, he will smash a brick into his opponent's face and stab him in the leg. If his opponent draws a gun, he will summon the demons of hell to crush them. Should the enemy refuse to talk, he finds pain combined with the right questions, a careful ear and a close eye on the enemy's face often speaks volumes. Much easier, however, is six pints of beer and a shot of vodka- a flawless truth serum.

Despite his usual calm and calculating demeanour, Jardsam is sometimes prone to genuine bouts of giddiness induced mania, acting like a hyper-active child on a sugar-high for seemingly no reason at all other than the fact that he's genuinely hyper. His abilities are less consistent when he is in this state, but so far Jardsam has never fought while in this state, and violence or a serious situation will calm him down immediately.

As a teenager, Jardsam was involved in several supernatural events. A complex game of life and death was played, where teenagers were granted supernatural abilities and talents where they could each manipulate the laws of physics in some specific way. Jardsam was granted control over rotation: By drawing a mark on two objects, he was able to make them rotate around each other, like planets around the sun. Using this skill, Jardsam rose through the other competitors in this tournament, and eventually coming off conquerer.

What he did not realise, however, was that this was a lethal job interview for an organisation known as the Senior Partnership. These were a group of individuals who manipulated the laws of time and space in order to maintain control over various universes, and they desired Jardsam as an accountant of worlds. Refusing, Jardsam embarked on a long campaign, travelling from world to world to release people from the Senior Partnership. His abilities developed, and his ability to manipulate physics grew as he destroyed branch after branch of the Senior Partnership. As he went, however, his methods grew crueller and crueller, himself colder and more ruthless as he continued his crusade and the Senior Partnership became more and more desperate.

After an intense battle at The Head Office, Jardsam acquired the Pencil of Law. This pencil has the appearance of a small metal tube and emits light from the tip when used. This pencil allows Jardsam to rewrite the laws of physics in the immediate area- not complete control, but adding and revoking laws and bye-laws, loopholes and amendments, like a lawmaker with complete control over which bills are passed and which are not. This is far from omnipotent, however, as these laws must be obeyed, even for himself, and the law is always just- What must be obeyed for one must be obeyed for another. Because of this, Jardsam always keeps a base copy of The Laws of Physics in the Pencil: By pressing the pen together the laws reset to the base version for safety.

It was at this point that Jardsam's allies turned on him- Seeing him as another ruler that would have absolute control. Jardsam ran, and has travelled universe after universe, fighting battle after battle in an attempt to survive. The battles grew more and more brutal as he continued to see Universe after Universe burn before his very eyes. Eventually, what was left of his ideals collapsed on him, and he took a turn for the worse. Having fallen from his previous ideal to be a hero, Jardsam is now a destroyer of worlds. He fills his days in carnage, revelling in bloodshed like a pig in mud, remaining calm and calculating, like a most sophisticated serial killer, or, more accurately, like a hero would, only on the other side.

This chain of events only stalled when he encountered a universe that he was unable to destroy. Curious, he decided to examine this strange phenomenon, taking residence at the House of Death until he was introduced to a former client of his, Kita Kurenai, who Death thought needed a counter-balance to limit her omnicidal tendencies.

As it turned out, not only does it seem that Jardsam is unable to meet the task, he was also easily distracted. He has since gone on to attempt to destroy the world in Hellscraper, fill the cult of Gekido with red tape and bureaucracy, alongside the entire Chaos Realm, and is currently teaching History at Kings Grammar School in London.

He is a devout follower of the Order of the Helix, and has countless children, including SamJaz Shinoda, Kelly Malkin, and other characters mentioned in the Sketchinoda page.


Jardsam's physiology has completely warped beyond medical comprehension, to the point where he no longer resembles human. He cannot bleed, and if you were to cut him in half, would find only oblivion inside his skin. This is the reason for his immortality- he is no longer alive, thus cannot die. However, he is not invulnerable. Though it is true that he can take incredible amounts of damage, he is immobile while sustaining damage capable of killing a human being. For example, if he were to be stabbed in the head, he would be unable to move for a few seconds, but he would be able to pull the sword out of his face. However, if under sustained machine gun fire, he will be unable to move while taking bullets, same if he was under a sustained energy beam. Despite this, it is impossible to destroy his body or wound him, but filling Jardsam with holes is just as viable an option as with any human being, regardless of his ability to survive it. Capture is the only option when disabling Jardsam.

Jardsam still resembles a human being, of only out of habit. He could probably shapeshift if he desired so, but he hasn't found previous attempts to be to his liking, and taking too much effort to be of any use.

However, his Spin ability is still very much on the table, should he be able to make a mark with a pen or a some other marking implement. Should he draw an X on a table, and another, larger X on a chair, then Jardsam would be able to make the table rotate around the chair regardless of origin. This also applies to people who are alive, provided he can make his marks.

Jardsam is also an experienced mage and assassin, especially in the art of Chronomancy, or time magic, and was Arthur Cromwells teacher some time ago. He is also amazing at stealth, and can sneak up on even those with the finest detection skills.

Jardsam's combat skills are beyond that of a legendary hero- developing a martial art named Dreadnought over the space of several thousand lifetimes. He is the only true master of the art, though it has been passed on in lesser forms to SamJaz Shinoda and Alexis Romanov. Its power is likened to placing a battleship on a land battlefield- capable of taking down armies yet also drawing huge attention to itself.


Using the Pencil of Law, Jardsam can rewrite the laws of physics. This takes time and concentration to perform serious or complicated alterations, but can make practiced, simple edits within seconds IE fire burns cold, stone repels magnetic objects, etc. The Pen, however, is completely ineffective on life- as life does not follow a strict, obedient pattern like planets, magnetism or gravity, changes in laws do not affect life-forms. This often causes embarrassment when Jardsam attempts to use the pencil's abilities on wood, which he considers to be his mortal nemesis, aside from the remnants of the Senior Partnership. Jardsam can also use the Pencil to edit the material qualities of objects that he shines the Pencil's light on, the more complicated the changes, the more time he needs.

Aside from the Pencil, He carries a fire axe with a four ft handle as a weapon. The last twelve inches of the handle is the grip of a katana with a three ft blade, to which the axe is a scabbard. The weapon is made of a cobanium alloy, a rare and very powerful metal not existing in this universe.

Jardsam usually wears a dark suit with a shirt and tie, though he occasionally switches this up. His suits contain something called the Truemetal Jacket- which is an infinite supply of weapons and tools of countless varieties. It functions on principles very similar to hammerspace, though much more lethal.

He also sometimes carries a Bolter, or a Boltgun, into battle. This is a rapid-fire grenade launcher that fires armour-piercing .75 calibre explosive rounds called Bolts. However, this gun is roughly the size of a small child, so he understandably rarely uses this weapon that exists only for killing something beyond the point of regeneration.

He has also acquired a piece of Psychic Paper, which fools whoever it is shown to into believing that Jardsam is whoever he claims to be. This is not effective to those of strong mental strength or know of his true identity or of any previous identities. Any false identity created through the Psychic Paper will hold firm in the target's mind unless thoroughly disproven by someone not under the influence of the Psychic Paper.

Jardsam also has access to a inter-dimensional battleship, which he calls The Office. While it can take many forms of outward appearance, inside is very spacious regardless of the outer dimensions. The Office can travel through time and instantly through space, but has had all of its weapons disabled beyond repair. Its defensive walls are several light-years thick, made of unbreakable metals forged in the heart of black holes, and is capable of withstanding any damage. Jardsam is very protective of The Office, however, and usually does not take it into battle in case it gets stolen, always parking it a safe distance away and locking the front door.

Post by Kelita_McCabe (5 posts) See mini bio Level 8
@Jardsam: Ahhh great to see your alt up and running:)
Post by SamJaz (13,107 posts) See mini bio Level 20
Online Now

@Kelita_McCabe: Thank you kindly. How many posts is it for the buffer to finish?

Post by Kelita_McCabe (5 posts) See mini bio Level 8
@SamJaz: It should be up to 12 posts.
Post by SamJaz (13,107 posts) See mini bio Level 20
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@Kelita_McCabe: Cheers.

Post by Kuma_From_Argentina (7,285 posts) See mini bio Level 14

@Jardsam: No love for the image I got you?

Post by SamJaz (13,107 posts) See mini bio Level 20
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@Kuma_From_Argentina: Couldn't accept the Yo! from the jardsam account.

Post by Kuma_From_Argentina (7,285 posts) See mini bio Level 14

@SamJaz: Cant you download the image to your computer and then uploaded through the Jardsam acount?

Post by SamJaz (13,107 posts) See mini bio Level 20
Online Now

@Kuma_From_Argentina: Have done, just waiting on the non-watermarked one.

Post by Kuma_From_Argentina (7,285 posts) See mini bio Level 14

@SamJaz: I totally forgot the watermark

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