RPG

Name: Sakara

Age: Unknown (Older than mankind's existence)

Gender: Male

Eyes: red and yellow

Date of Birth: Unknown

Nationality: Caucasian

Faction: Good

Affiliation: Married

Height: 5'12"

Weight: 165 lb

Specialty: Master swordsmen, Universal creator

Aliases: (ハセヲ) Haseo Yashimora

Place of Birth: Another universe

Race: Zavrakk'ii (Creators)

Family: Ayana(wife), Lia(daughter)

Faction: Good

Affiliation: Alliance Federation Of Planets (AFOP) leader

Theme song

my poem

“I am the warrior who fights the good fight
My presence flows like beautiful light and I am possessed of grace and power
My sword is Willingness and Truth my shield
I wage a war against the demons within me
Worse than any movie or fantasy these demons are real
Great courage and bravery are needed to face them
Few have had the strength to follow or join me on the path
Many have I seen turn back
And so I have become skilled in the art of single combat
I have been fighting long and hard
My struggle has often been lonely
There are but few obstacles left in my way
The greatest treasure I have won is a real and ever increasing certainty that I am the answer to all my questions, all my desires, and all my needs
Had I known that vulnerability and openness could get me so far I would have made them my abilities much sooner
The recent battles have been hard and yet my castle, once far away is now on the horizon.
I can see it's light's blazing in warm welcome and within it's walls are peace, my mate, and much joy”

Personality

Haseo is really surrounded in mystery, but he does show affection for Ayana, he’s short tempered. something he got from his father, he doesn’t care if his opponent begs to spare him, he will not, he will not attack an enemy unarmed, or from behind nor take host edges(being cowardly) because he is an noble warrior/ swordsmen. Haseo now rushes into battle without caring for the opponents life, even if its a spar. Haseo is a genuinely goodhearted and kind person who cares deeply for his friends and family and the AFOP. Haseo being completely fearless, he will challenge and confront anything, even when it all seems hopeless he will stand up and tell himself to push forward. Haseo is quite intelligent in the ways of the sword, but also the ways of war being a military strategist. Haseo is usually calm, collected and certain of himself. Haseo rarely speaks, unless spoken to. Haseo is a great leader and is willing to risk everything for what he loves! Haseo leads the AFOP navy but dislikes conflict, he avoids battles any way he can, but most of the time he cant. Even though Haseo made this universe he takes orders from the 4 leaders of the AFOP.

Appearance

Haseo has white/gray hair, being that hes so old even though his appearance makes him look like a 20 year old forever due to infinite youth and being an immortal being. Haseo is humanoid in appearance, but is nothing like a human besides the body(including sexual features). Haseo has red and yellow eyes and his eyes are in a star shape. Haseo is Caucasian and has a large alien- like tattoo that covers his back.

Powers

a-thousand blades: Haseo has a special move were he makes hand signs and his black katana or any other sword spins and flouts over his head, then he yells to release it "expand" then the sword itself clowns itself a thousand times all surrounding Haseo then ether 1 by 1 or all at ones they fly at the enemy!

Zaprialli: Zaprialli is an ability that transfers his opponents energy within him/her to him thus absorbing there powers to prevent him/her from using his/her powers.

Nex-Gen Blade: Haseo has a ring on his left index finger that everyone does not know what it it symbolizes, but it is really a weapon, Haseo's strongest weapon mater a fact. To activate it haseo holds it up in front of his face and sez, “Activate 0-1”. After activation, Haseo's arm is covered in a metal-type of glove and then summons a sword out of pure energy(as seen in top image). This sword is like know other, it has the power to fire a blast out of the tip of the blade and can Case a nuclear explosion, but can be blocked easily buy for example a magical shield.

Abilities

Super speed: Haseo call it Litori, or Gust technique that makes the person almost teliport, but not, just going to fast for the naked eye to see. it also makes a sound, like Sonído from Bleach.

Weapons master: Haseo is known as a weapons master because for over 300,000 years on Zenitaia he has used/trained with every weapon known to anyone! Buy he prefers his black bladed katana his teacher gave him, and was his first weapon he ever used.

Immortality: Haseo can never die, unless killed. Although the user still experiences pain and injuries, mortal wounds result in the user becoming unconscious until injuries are tended upon, but their body will never rot, age or grow old. Haseo can stay young forever.

Enhanced Regeneration: Haseo can heal rapidly from any physical injury; the rate of recovery in 15 seconds if a limb in cut off or incinerated 5 seconds for a gash to a whole.

Super strength: Haseo has the strength of 10,000 men, so he can lift up from a car to a small building(2 story) but Haseo hardly uses this strength, if ever in battle.

Radar sense: Haseo can sense people 20 miles away, even people that are out of phase, Haseo never lets his guard done and this is they key for that.

master seer: Haseo as eyes like no other, he can see up to 1-2 miles and has radar vision.

Haseo's History(AV version not my book) CH.1

In another universe Sakara was just a teenager in a sense, he is a Zavrakk'ii translated means “Creator”. On a small planet orbiting a gas giant. One day as Sakara was with his father, ships from space came and started to destroy everything, killing everyone! Sakara's father sacrificing himself to save Sakara and Sakara's brother Zane, he sends to a “blank universe”, in a sense a universe thats not been created yet, so an infinite space of black nothingness. Sakara having the ability and knowledge to make a universe sets off a big bang, and, well you know the rest,”evolution”. The next 7 million years Sakara and Zane watched over there universe as it formed, then Sakara took intrust in a race that began to be highly advance at such an alarming rate for it being so young, so Sakara watched them for a few thousand years seeing them build and expand into space.

Sakara took so much intrust in this race now known as the Maggnorions he decided to become one of them to experience there lives and what they live through there prospective. On the Maggnorion home world called Zenitaia, Sakara transported himself to the farmlands on Zenitaia where some how he did something wrong, instead of his appearing as a teen, he was a child looks the age of 14! Sakara now confused what happened, Zane reminded him about his new name and alibi to tell people and he was restricted of 80% of his powers(now can only use whats in bio). Sakara, now known as Haseo Yashimora, witched he preferred more then his real name, set out into the city on foot. As he reached the city of Magnoliess, Haseo ran into the local law enforcement that wanted to question him(he looked none Maggnorion and no other life was found by the Maggnorions yet), so Haseo complied and went with them in a large police hover car to there station deeper into the multi- layered city. Upon arriving at the station Haseo saw just how extensive the city was and how big.

When they got to the station and brang him inside, they asked him a lot of questions, Haseo gave them his alibi, “my spaceship was heavily damaged, so I went into the escape pod and landed on this planet”, they believed him and asked for his name, Sakara said, “ Haseo Yashimora”. 20 years later Haseo was excepted into there society and started his first day of school. He didn’t get the idea at first seeing that it was way different then his races teachings witch was a computer that directly downloaded everything his race needed to know, but here there was a school with “teachers” and “classrooms” and lots more, but Haseo took a dive right into it and became the smarted student in the school, so smart the school administration gave him a test that know one has ever past, and past it in 3 minutes flat! The staff was so shocked, they called the Maggnorion government to check Haseo out to see if they could test him and see how truly smart he was he refused and instead wrote down equations, it was the mathematics of making the invention known as FTL or faster then light travel! Weeks later Haseo was sent to the government and (under guard) met the leaders of the Maggnorion race.

As the leaders of the Maggnorion race explain the reason he was brought before them Haseo said thus,” all I want is to be treated as if I was one of your kind, live out my life in peace, not being apart of your government”! The leaders reactions where frustration and disappointment but he was a guest on there planet so they agreed to his wishes, but Haseo wanted to explore and travel so he also told them that, “i will teach your people some other technical advances in exchange for getting me into space to explore the galaxy”. They agreed to what he proposed and as the days turned into weeks Haseo was closer to getting his request.

CH.2 (coming soon)

CH.3 (coming soon)

Alliance Federation Of Planets (AFOP)

The foundation of the AFOP was around 80 million to 90 million years ago, 1 immortal started it, he was named, Segagiess! Segagiess was the founder of the AFOP, he started it because he wanted to unite the galaxy for one goal, "peace"! it took Segagiess over 250 years just to get the AFOP started let alown followers, but 50 years later it was on the fast track! with in 400-450 years the AFOP grew in strangth and finaly had its own goverment, and military departments, as well as other companies. the AFOP desided to colonize a planet they later made there home world, this planet was called Zenitaia.

237 years later the AFOP was the main and central power of the Zeveron galaxy, being that powerful and fully devoted to forcing peace in this galaxy! but in doing this the AFOP had a few small wars intill they met there match, 4550 A.F.(after foundation) they met a avisary they never saw coming! 4551 A.F. a race known as the Changoloms(do to the fact that they can change shape into who ever they kill) took on the AFOP with stronger forces and slightly out numbering them, but the AFOP fought back with all there might, and in doing so a war that tore the galaxy apart draged on for 2900 years, in the end the AFOP was loosing the war, but just when the Changoloms where going to lay the final blow, every Changolom in the galaxy suddenly vanished, an admiral of the AFOP 32ed deployment consisting on 680 ships in total now 377, took matters into his own hands and investagated this mistory as the AFOP heals its wounds, he was called, Haseo Yashimora! as Haseo digged deeper into the mistory he finds that a group calling themselfs, "Infinity" was resposable and sot out to find them, but he soon realized they where there TRUE enemy!

Now the AFOP being back up to 86% efficiency, the began preparing them for another battle, sadly the AFOP's military is at 63% and navy(space forces) was at 80%, thats a bad number for the AFOP, even though thats millions of starships and 100eds of millions of ground forces, thats still highly undermanned compared to there enemy witch they know nothing about! the leaders of the AFOP consisting of the senate, the cousal and the chairmen, they came to a desition, "war"! they promoted AD. Haseo to supreme admiral, witch gives him the right to take command of any ship he wants and command every naval vessel/starship in the AFOP! Segagiess, KIA in the first AFOP/Changolom war, no one has took his place, but there's been a galaxy-wide romer that he's still alive! as Infinity infaltrates an AFOP colonized world called, Galilia, they launch a planet-wide nuclear attack that killed everyone on the planet! 3 hours later Infinity hacked every communication array/satellite and broadcasted a message from them that could be seen over 40 worlds including Zenitaia! the message said, "we are Infinity, we exist to destroy anyone that wishes for peace, we will and we shall, kill you all"!

the Kingdom(coming soon)

NPC characters

name: Zagon Tallen

sex: male

race: Maggnorion

age: 3600

eye's: blue

date of birth: unknown

Nationality: Caucasian

Faction: Good

place of birth: planet New Zenitaia

Affiliation: Alliance Federation Of Planets (AFOP), leader

Theme song

Personality

Zagon has a "kid" like nature to him, thus people at the same rank or friends of him have nicknamed him "kid". Zagon in fact in one of the only survivors of the 2ed Sotonio civil war and is decorated as a war hero, even though Zagon see's himself as just a survivor. Zagon is more a fighter then a leader but he tries his best to help, Zagons feelings tords others are some what.....off, he has no feelings of love,happiness and joy because of what wars have done to him! Zagon has also no fear for being in so many battles/wars he has found a technique that blocks all his remaining emotions so all he turns into is a cold blooded killer!

Appearance

Zagon has dark blue eye's and brown hair, he always wear's the clothing as seen in top image and the Cristal in his chest is were his powers come from.

Powers

Dualokinesis: Zagon can fuzes all his powers into one summon witch he calls, "Talimense", with is a 400 foot tall knight looking guardian that can use all his powers, as well he can still use is powers as well.

Elemental mastery: Zagon has mastered all of the elements and can use every one as a weapon in battle, but he likes using he water element most.

History

Zagon is one of the 4 leaders of the AFOP and is one of the main fighters in a ground invasion if any AFOP was invaded. he was born 3600 years ago on New Zenitaia in the Zulari galaxy witch is where the AFOP now resides. when he was only 2300 years old Zagon took part in the 2ed Sontonio civil war and was one of 3 survivors in the war that the AFOP lost millions!(will add)

name Jirasi

age: 5422

race: Maggnorion

sex: male

eye's: brown

date of birth: unknown

Nationality: Caucasian

Faction: Good

place of birth: planet Zenitaia

Affiliation: Alliance Federation Of Planets (AFOP) leader

Theme song

Personality

Jirasi is always joking with everyone unless the situation is series and always has a smile if not a smerk on his face. Jirasi hates fighting as much as Haseo does but does not express it like him. (will add)

Appearance

Jirasi like Zagon always wears the same clothing. he has brown eye's and blond hair, he also wears glasses because unlike Zagon he has mortal senses because on an unknown birth defect.

Powers

Magic master: unlike Zagon hes not a warrior, he tends to stay out of fights but he is a master of magic spells that hes never used in combat.

History

There is little to tell of Jirasi's history other then he was born into a noble family and was the 3rd immortal to become one of the 4 leaders of the AFOP

Limanariea

Haseo's universe to AV universe history

coming soon

ps: this is a very long story to tell so it will take a while! might do it in pieces.

Well is his defense, he is Italian correct? Well it takes a long time maybe even years to learn the English language in the form of speech, let alone text, even then the grammar is bound to be an issue, albeit some people here are also non-native English speakers and can still do fine like the rest of us, the fact still stands that some learn faster than others, at least I can get an idea of what he is talking about. So long as his actual RPing skills have gotten better (No auto-hitting, explain what happens better, and don't ignore attacks. Pretty much the problems I found in his past RPs) then it should be fine. At least he is working on it ergo we should cut him some slack on the grammar, just hammer down on things completely illegible.

As for the bio itself, I must give you props for makings it longer than before and giving some sort of detail to characters, however here are my critiques: The immortality ability seems kinda counter intuitive considering you can't kill in RPs anyways. That power of immortality seems more productive to say a NPC character rather than your main character, and like Kuro said, if you can already regenerate anything in about 15 second and your character can move really fast, there is no need, I rarely see anyone sustain damage to the point the need to regenerate anyway, I mean half the fun is being hurt sometimes, unless your character is mostly human (Boxer Joe)

Some powers can be a bit more clear, for one you shouldn't reference other shows in your power description, you are giving a professional kind of bio, I mean you don't see in the the wikias on this site say something like: "Luffy's gear second is kinda like Goku's Kaio-ken and he moves like a Bleach character, like Byakuya or something." Instead, say something like he moves at mach 5 speeds, or simply sonic speeds, something like that unless your character in some way manipulates speed and time.

Third, some powers are kinda overkill, I mean absorbing someone powers seems a lot better than causing a nuclear explosion, I mean that basically makes your opponent defenseless so just about anything else you do can hurt them anyways, at least make it more of a chore to do, I mean make him have to grab you for a few seconds or something, and make it have a sort of drawback or limit to how much power he can take, I mean he should not be able to take power that would exceed his own right? Now another thing, your character already has radar vision, so why would he need so many different types of vision, part of making a character's powers is making sure they are practical as in you will use them somewhat often (Unless it is like a last resort super form) I would suggest either getting rid of the multiple types of visions or limiting them, Night vision is okay, but infrared? Probability? Luck? Life span? What need would your character have for that?

I would replace them with better powers, you seem to be fond of swordsmanship and eyes, so make that something he does, he uses his eyes to fight. Just an idea. I guess the last thing is make sure you actually update your bio, don't just say you will then leave it or make another, I know I sorta rushed mine to quickly get into the RPs XD nothing wrong with that though, just so long as you go back. But in the end, despite my critiques and suggestions, or anyone's for that matter, this is your bio, do what makes you happy, I'm sure if you kept it this way we would survive, most of the people here have some sort of device the make taking their power impossible or can survive cities exploding anyways haha.

@Kuro_San said:

@haseo_yashimora:

I'm going to be straight with you, maybe even brutal, but I really need to take this out of my chest...

1. Did Sonata gave thumbs up?
2. The grammar is still an issue
3. Some of your character powers are difficult to understand (Check point 2)
4. Some of your character powers are almost overpowered, as you can regenerate in 15 second a missing limb while being inmortal is an issue, also a sword with the same power as a nuke is kind of excessive, try to remember that after the Reboot most of the characters were heaviliy depowered, so your character seems to much for most of the characters.
5. Explain your character physical boundaries a little more, what is his top speed, strenght and durability?
6. The myriad of eyepowers is too much, is only a way to make your character impossible to be taken by surprise...

This are my critics about your character

1: no just putting up bio so i can correct my mistakes and add to it, AKA not RPing yet

2: like what phoenix said

3: sorry ill fix it

4:like i respond on no. 1 ill make changes

5: work in progress

6: ya ill dull it down

ps its ok ty for your point in the matter

@Sonata said:

@Kuro_San: No I didnt dint give him a thumbs up, but I told hm I'll help when I get some time.

ive known you been bizzy so i just put up my bio and im going to keep working on it, making changes, im not RPing till you say so k ;)

@Phoenix_Wright said:

Well is his defense, he is Italian correct? Well it takes a long time maybe even years to learn the English language in the form of speech, let alone text, even then the grammar is bound to be an issue, albeit some people here are also non-native English speakers and can still do fine like the rest of us, the fact still stands that some learn faster than others, at least I can get an idea of what he is talking about. So long as his actual RPing skills have gotten better (No auto-hitting, explain what happens better, and don't ignore attacks. Pretty much the problems I found in his past RPs) then it should be fine. At least he is working on it ergo we should cut him some slack on the grammar, just hammer down on things completely illegible.

As for the bio itself, I must give you props for makings it longer than before and giving some sort of detail to characters, however here are my critiques: The immortality ability seems kinda counter intuitive considering you can't kill in RPs anyways. That power of immortality seems more productive to say a NPC character rather than your main character, and like Kuro said, if you can already regenerate anything in about 15 second and your character can move really fast, there is no need, I rarely see anyone sustain damage to the point the need to regenerate anyway, I mean half the fun is being hurt sometimes, unless your character is mostly human (Boxer Joe)

Some powers can be a bit more clear, for one you shouldn't reference other shows in your power description, you are giving a professional kind of bio, I mean you don't see in the the wikias on this site say something like: "Luffy's gear second is kinda like Goku's Kaio-ken and he moves like a Bleach character, like Byakuya or something." Instead, say something like he moves at mach 5 speeds, or simply sonic speeds, something like that unless your character in some way manipulates speed and time.

Third, some powers are kinda overkill, I mean absorbing someone powers seems a lot better than causing a nuclear explosion, I mean that basically makes your opponent defenseless so just about anything else you do can hurt them anyways, at least make it more of a chore to do, I mean make him have to grab you for a few seconds or something, and make it have a sort of drawback or limit to how much power he can take, I mean he should not be able to take power that would exceed his own right? Now another thing, your character already has radar vision, so why would he need so many different types of vision, part of making a character's powers is making sure they are practical as in you will use them somewhat often (Unless it is like a last resort super form) I would suggest either getting rid of the multiple types of visions or limiting them, Night vision is okay, but infrared? Probability? Luck? Life span? What need would your character have for that?

I would replace them with better powers, you seem to be fond of swordsmanship and eyes, so make that something he does, he uses his eyes to fight. Just an idea. I guess the last thing is make sure you actually update your bio, don't just say you will then leave it or make another, I know I sorta rushed mine to quickly get into the RPs XD nothing wrong with that though, just so long as you go back. But in the end, despite my critiques and suggestions, or anyone's for that matter, this is your bio, do what makes you happy, I'm sure if you kept it this way we would survive, most of the people here have some sort of device the make taking their power impossible or can survive cities exploding anyways haha.

Ty for your comments, and the reason i put up this bio is for what you all just said, since sonata is bizzy in real life, i wanted community help/suggestions, and im changing my bio right now taking all the visions out but 1 but the nuke attack i know is a little over powered but can easily be blocked by say magical shield! all in all ill be making changes before i add on also in the explaining more part, i need to brain storm, this bio itself took me all most 2 weeks to think of and its not even finished, also note that Haseo will hardly ever use his powers, he likes to use his sword. as for the spelling, yes im still in classes, but im a slow learner as a part of my disability witch i rather not go into unless needed. but i have good friends still that already sent me PMs asking "want me to fix your spelling?" so if it comes down to that ill say yes. the reason why i went that way with the immortality powers is because in Haseo's universe thats how its interpreted.

@Newdeath said:

I'm not going to criticize or praise you right now. Not until Sonata gives you the thumbs up. I'll give my say only after Sonata says you can RP, only then will we be able to judge what you've learned from him and how you've improved. As for now, I'd suggest not putting up bios unless you've been given the go to RP. Good luck with your training.

ND

if ya read my response to Kuro then you have your answer.

UPDATE

fixed Nex-Gen Blade and made it have a weakness or flaw i guess

took out all the visions

@Newdeath said:

@haseo_yashimora: You didn't seem to get the point of what I said. Here's the thing: as long as you're not RP'ing, it's not necessary for you to be publicly posting your bios on the RPG forums, you're simply flooding the forum with irrelevant information because you're not allowed to RP yet. If you want to practice your writing skills that is completely fine but I'd suggest doing it on your profile's section for a bio rather than posting bio threads. That's my take on it at least. You know I don't mean to be offensive, I'm just telling you what I think you should do, a suggestion if you will.

ND

oh,oh,oh, ok i get it, well if one of the mods wants to do that its cool ill just save it on microsoft word ^^

after im done my training ill be changing a lot of this might as just take out the NPC characters as well, at any rate ill finish it in the near future as well as the spelling

@haseo_yashimora: Cant wait! Good luck! :D