@Seductress_: Pecks her head :D
@SamJaz: no need ;)
Jardsam sat in his office, reading a copy of the Hunger Games, when he heard something hit against his door.
Getting up from his seat, he approached the entrance and opened it, finding an envelope lying on the floor.
He picked it up and looked at it for a few moments before tossing it aside.
He didn't do that hero business anymore.
Cleaning the engines below the entrance hall, Jardsam found a dusty envelope.
Picking it up, curiosity got the better of him and he decided to open it.
An intrigued smirk formed on his face, before he vaulted onto the main deck of the office.
She knew him.
Jardsam hadn't met this, Kita Kurenai, but she'd met him, so he was going to meet her sometime in the future.
Jardsam began pulling levers and spinning wheels on the main console that filled the majority of the entrance hall / cockpit of the office.
If he was going to join this Gekido, he wanted to know how it was going to end.
One of the benefits of being a time traveller.
Jardsam opened the door and quietly slipped into the library.
It had taken a while but he'd located a time where it was completely empty. He'd scouted this location in time and knew he would have exactly twenty-nine minutes and thirty-three point eight seconds.
Plenty of time.
The first order of business was to apply the feathers in the corner. Not too much, but enough to throw suspicion.
Buck-Buck wasn't the target of his operation. They were just there to throw off the scent.
He then got to the corner and unzipped his trousers. Then, he jumped up and planted his feet firmly against the bookcases behind him, with the rest of the room in front of him.
He'd drunk eleven pints of female teenage blood, taken from those who recently lost their virginity, all in preparation for this moment.
Checking he was at the right height, Jardsam aimed and began to pee.
Kita was going to murder Y for this. Twice.
@SamJaz: It was amusingly obvious to Kita that Jardsam was unaware of her Omnipresence in the Chaosrealm. Conjuring a dimensional bucket out of nothingness and placed it right in front Jardsam's urine flow. The urine was set to leak on top of Jardsam's head through a small hole in reality. All of this happened instantaneously.
Jardsam grinned as the bucket appeared. It was just like his future self told him.
Using his free hand, he shone the Pencil at the bucket, bending reality behind the hole in the bucket to change the flow.
So, his hypothesis was false, Kita was, in fact, aware of everything in the Chaos Realm. However, was she able to see past and future events simultaneously?
Time to find out. He bent the hole in reality towards a drink Sicily served Kita last week. He knew Kita drank that drink, he saw her do it.
But would that change?
@SamJaz: Kita already seeing what Jardsam was going to the day he arrived in the Chaosrealm already had precursors in place when he attempted this. She had Sicily before hand move the glass 5 inches back at the exact time the Jardsam from the future attempted to grab it. Then everything else went as normal. The Chaosrealm is Kita's personal canvas, and can edit the time frames of anyone who enters if she wishes.
Jardsam frowned as his urine stained into the carpet of last week. Someone was gonna have to clean that up later.
But, it seems that his current employer can think four-dimensionally, at least, and see events happening along the W axis.
But did that apply across different dimensions?
Zipping up his trousers, Jardsam jumped down from the bookcase and pointed his pencil towards the floor. It emitted a strange whirring sound as a green sphere engulfed the space around Jardsam, giving him a roughly ten ft radius.
He was in a different dimension, a strange world where gravity is the repulsive force and freezing temperatures are hotter than boiling temperatures.
The books on the bookcases were engulfed by the green atmosphere, their matter being destroyed and reconstructed in the ways of this strange universe.
He rewrote the laws of physics in this world, giving paper a highly explosive quality when in the proximity of leather or skin of any kind.
Jardsam then sent about thirty of the few hundred books back to their places amongst the shelves, then reassimilated this borrowed part of the other universe into the Library.
All of the books were still the same as they were before. No chemical difference had been made. Atom for atom, no unusual change had been made.
It was just that thirty of them would react according to the laws of a different universe. Were it not for his perfect memory, Jardsam wouldn't even know which ones were which.
Grateful that he was a being of embodied reality and not an organic lifeform, at least for the purposes of this prank, Jardsam strolled away from his trap.
"Your move." He said under his breath, confident Kita would hear his challenge.
@SamJaz: Kita teleported inside the library a second after Jardsam. Jardsam's plan was very good it would work on practically anyone. But he is once again forgetting Kita's powers The chaos Gene has been to every realm in existence. Even though it is not whole it still contains a vast amount of knowledge. Now in the Chaosrealm it's abilities of perception increased to infinite levels. Though Kita with the current gene could not alliterate objects that work into tune to different universes, she was still able to detect them. She went to each one of the books, and pulled out each book that was one each side of the trap books to mock Jardsam futile attempts. Kita vanished once again out of the library.
Jardsam backtracked, looking at the books in question. Taking one of the trap ones in his hand, he looked at it carefully before shining his pencil over it.
The light reflected off the book's surface at slightly different frequencies as to before. There was no illusion involved, he just changed what the book looked like to the human eye.
'How to get your man in seven seconds and keep him for seven decades.'
'2015 edition by Nirvana Schmitt'
Jardsam himself doubted that the woman would ever write a book like this, or, even more likely, she would ever marry Mr Schmitt. But, thanks for being a time-traveller, who could easily spin the tale of that passionate whirlwind of a romance that took the multiverse by storm. Or would take the multiverse by storm. Honest.
Skipping slightly as he walked, he tracked down his victim. Now, how would she react to this?
"Hey, Sicilly!" Jardsam shouted, jogging to catch up with Kita's personal chef, before having a better idea. "Looking great!"
Turning around, he sprinted to The Office, taking it back in time to Sicilly's last birthday.
It didn't take him long to track her down. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SICILY GREENWOOD!" He shouted, offering the explosive book with a pretty pink bow and a loving smile.
This Christmas themed romantic comedy does a fantastic job of juggling love stories and ultimately presents a modern Christmas classic.