Off-Topic

Here is probably one of the best blogs I wrote for CV a while back on the many deaths of Captain America. I thought I'd put this one up before doing anything about anime. And believe me, I forsee many angry blogs about anime in the future. So enjoy this before I make everyone mad with my writing.

I take your death in vain: The Lame Deaths of Captain America

In lieu of the current death, current being May of last year, of Steve Rogers AKA Captain America. We take a look back of 44 years of Cap getting capped. All info comes directly from the comicvine site, all added statements below come from moi.

• First death in 1964. "Killed" by Baron Zemo, when thrown off an exploding plane into the freezing Atlantic Ocean. Actually was in suspended animation and returned later.

                   this is the first time the whole, "Oh wait, that didn't happen" gimmick took place. Flimsy explanation for a flimsy gimmick. I'm sure this gimmick happened somewhere else prior to this, but this is the first time it happened in Cap mythos. And it's incredibly stupid. With all the amazing different ways to bring a person back from the dead they choose the easiest way out. And lets take a look at the "suspended animation" garbage. He was frozen in a block of ice and thawed out.... Science aside, this is still a stupid way to bring him back. I've read the Avengers issue that this happens in and it's mind-numbing. Magically, they find him in the arctic and thaw him out and he becomes Captain America once again. I'd probably take a break to readjust myself with my current environment. "Television?! Are they trapped in there?!" "The suburbs? Is that underground?" "WE SENT A MAN INTO SPACE! LIAR!" these are questions I'd personally like to have answered before I go back to my old life as a vigilante. Maybe it's just me.....

• Dies again in 1969. It is supposed that HYDRA got him. This lasts a few issues until it turns out that he faked his death so he could retire, and he eventually becomes Captain America again,

                   For it's time, this was awesome. Steve can't retire, so he fakes his own death. Nowadays, the "fake death" gimmick is unbearable. Most recently, Spoiler. She didn't even have a great excuse, she went into hiding. Faking your own death does border the "Oh wait, that didn't happen" gimmick pretty closely. However, Cap's situation fits this scenario really well. This is one of his two deaths I actually agree with and can say, "Makes sense". No, nothing clever there.... The death makes sense. But still, he technically hasn't died.

• Third death, in 1978. This death is the first real one, where he actually dies. The all powerful Korvac easily murders him, but decides to resurrect him. He actually resurrects him in the same issue.

                   Ah, the 2nd lamest way to kill/resurrect someone. I call this method the, "I'm all-powerful and I am trying to make a point to you through your grief" gimmick. A whole 8 pages of death. I haven't read this one, I'm just assuming the writers couldn't go more than 8 pages without having Cap throw his shield at someone and yell, "FOR AMERICA!". A character shouldn't have to kill another character AND THEN resurrect him just to prove he is all powerful. Just kill the guy, go on with your day, "nuff said". Resurrecting a character, after murdering him is a sign of weakness in a villain, unless you're reading Emperor Joker, then it's a sign of insanity. There isn't too much else I can say about this other than that it's just plain stupid.

• Dies in 1984. Again, this is a real death, he is killed during the Secret Wars and is resurrected next issue.

                This goes along with the last one, but it has it's own title. The "Ha-ha, fooled you!" gimmick. Secret Wars is great stuff, don't get me wrong, but at this point, Cap has died three times already, once for real... kinda. Killing him has no effect on the reader anymore. Kill spiderman, the kids seem to love him a whole lot more anyway. THAT will make a point. I really don't get what the writers were thinking on this one. you knew you were going to bring him back, what was the point?

• Thanos kills him in 1991, during the Infinity Gauntlet crisis. This was an enemy martial arts skills weren't enough for. Adam Warlock resurrects him eventually.

                Great stuff. Thanos doesn't care, POW, you're dead. At this point, I'd think Steve would get pretty pissed off about the whole dying and coming back to life bit. Yet, he never mentions it. Strange.... I mean, I remember the first time I fell down a hill, and scrapped my leg up from roller blading. In fact, I mention that story at least once every 6 months, when the story fits into conversation. It's a great story. but you never see Steve & Sam (Falcon) hanging out in a coffee shop, telling stories like, "One time I went to space, Thanos totally killed me, man that sucked."

• He dies in 1992, the same year that Superman was killed and resurrected. It seemed as if Punisher assassinated him, but it was actually faked by Punisher without Rogers' knowledge.

                My favorite of all the deaths. A mixture of the "Oh, look what the other guy is doing" and "fake death" gimmicks. I remember this very well, I was about 11 years old, but I was so much more interested in Supes death, that I didn't care for cap as much. They faked Steve's death, without him knowing? I don't know if there's a typo there or if it's just that ridiculous. At this point, "fake death" has become a full on gimmick. It's niche and just overdone. the ONLY reason this was done was to bump up sales, nothing worthwhile came out of this garbage.

• Another death in 1996. The Super Soldier Serum degenerates and causes cellular damage that kills him. He survives because it's reversed by Red Skull.

                Now we're getting somewhere. "Hey, it's been four years, lets kill Cap!" "we've done it like 5 times before, maybe we should... screw it... Steve's dead! again." This was pretty interesting stuff, but would have worked 1,000 times better if it was his 2nd death. Red Skull uses Steve to clone his body, so old Skullface can have a new one. Really interesting stuff, good read.... Don't quote me on that though, I haven't read it in 12 years. I have nothing bad to say about this other than I'm really sick of him dying.

• 1996 again. The all-powerful Onslaught seemed to have killed him, along with a huge group of other heroes like the other Avengers. It turns out they were only transported to an alternate dimension.

             STOP IT! IT'S ONLY BEEN 6 MONTHS YOU IDIOTS! Oh, they were only transported? Then, why did you make it seem like they were dead? To fool me? @sshole. The break in between Cap's deaths is coincidentally, pretty much the same amount of time I took a break from comics. The reason why you ask? Because Onslaught saga was the first time that I hated a story arc, and Marvel's bankruptcy made me hate comics. (I still have all my stupid trading cards Marvel, wanna buy them back for full price?) This is the worst of the haha tricked you jazz because no one was fooled. "Oh, all of the Avengers, and a whole bunch of heroes are dead? Really? Most of the big names in the MCU are gone? Not buying it." Fool my once Marvel, shame on you, fool me twice Marvel, and I punch you in the stomach.

• Killed in 2005 along with Wolverine, by a vengeful Thor. It turned out to be in an alternate future.

             The "It was all a dream" gimmick. They use this a lot in television, i.e. Dallas, St. Elsewhere, and by far it is the CHEAPEST way to get around screwing something up. I never read this, I'll be honest, but the alternate future stuff is great, as long as I know, right off the bat, that it's an alternate universe. If you try to pull the wool over my eyes and screw me at the end like this, I'll be mad. In fact, I'm mad right now.

• Killed in 2007, right now, by Crossbones and a brainwashed Sharon Carter. He still remains dead-although that probably will not last. Comic people usually don't stay dead.

             This death was poetry. Beautiful. Why? Well Civil War really set this up. Marvel's story arc, in which, they thought the public would be split. Unfortunately, Tony Stark ended up becoming Wizard's Villain of the Year and Cap the hero. way to go. It really is good stuff, don't get me wrong. But, what made it great was Cap turning himself in at the end, only to be shot down once month later. He became a martyr in the MCU. And yes, they'll find some gimmicky way to bring him back. I'm hoping for a pan out of a Autistic child playing with a MCU snowglobe myself, but the run right now with the son becoming the father is great stuff, even if Cap has guns.


Barry Allen was gone for 20 something years. Now he's back. Bucky was gone for almost 40.  Uncle Ben, still dead.... for now.
Death in comics has become a gimmick. Death in the real world is a finality, there's no popping up in a couple months down the road because Korvac deemed it so. I'm ok with characters coming back, but only if time has pasted where the character has become a memory, not someone we're flipping the page waiting to see. That's why the return of Barry & Bucky worked/s so well. I, for one, have become desensitized to death in comics from the two big companies. Martian Manhunter's death wasn't that shocking to me. All I could think of was, "well, how they going to bring him back". And that shouldn't be the first thing on my mind. It shouldn't be the first thing on anyone's mind.

Because at some point, I am going to start doing anime-related blogs here. Many people on the vine have read some of my essay-length type blogs and I wanted to do more some stuff like that here. Sadly, the webcomic for the vine, and all the problems we've been having the past 3 weeks, is eating up all my time. In the next few days I'm going to start doing some drunken ramblings here. Hell, I might do some tonight if I finish a script early, as long as I don't run out of scotch tonight.

That's a nice blog. I'm gonna look forward to your next ones.

2 pages done with the script, two more to go, drunk as hell, i smell a blog