Fan-Fic

Sweet dreams are made of this.

There is only so much one man can take; only so much pain you can put somebody through. You can’t shove a man through a meat grinder and expect him to come out just f*cking fine and dandy. Even with a perfectly made support system, everybody comes crashing down at some point. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction… right? No matter how many catalysts you add or take away from the equation, no matter what you do, you cannot stop two chemicals from reacting.

It’s even worse when you don’t know the reaction has already started.

They never cared. I know that for sure. Alphonse was the only one who could begin to understand, but all creatures die the same. What were they thinking? All of them! Did they really think that I would be fine, after everything that happened? What made them think that? What was inside those brains that caused them to be so stupid? And so I searched.

Their nagging voices kept me up all night. I asked the others if they heard them too, but they wouldn’t listen. They never closed their eyes and pressed their ears up against the Gates. You can’t go to hell and back with out a few burns, but if you’ve never been, you can’t even begin to understand!

And now the warm, wet floorboards glisten in the moonlight. The warm red liquid dries between my toes and creaks as it clots between the screws of my automail. I fall to the floor and wash away the stains in the pools of red, but the stains only become bigger. My joints ache, and I begin to search through the gore. What were the secrets they kept from me? What were they hiding? Those damn voices told me they were hiding something. They wouldn’t lie to me!

“C…738…H1166…N812…O…203…S2…Fe.” That formula… it should have revealed their secrets… but the voices… they lied… didn’t they? And now the voices are gone. Now they don’t answer for themselves…

I look into the eyes of Winry… She’s so beautiful when she sleeps. I look into the eyes of Alphonse… Now they can be beautiful forever… preserved in a state of perfect peace.

They couldn’t help me… No… they didn’t even try. But I love them… and that’s what friends do: Take sh*t until you can’t anymore.

“Sweet dreams…” I whisper. Everything I did was for them... they never did a thing for me. They kept secrets from me, and all those secrets have spilled out onto the floor in fleshy strings. I search. I want to know what they kept from me...