A Jar of Pickles( a short DBZ comedy) PG 13

Topic started by Killer_of_trolls on Sept. 5, 2011. Last post by DBZ_universe 2 years, 2 months ago.
Post by Killer_of_trolls (1,563 posts) See mini bio Level 11

Author: R.O.S.H (jamal asii)

copyright: I don't own shit and don't give a shit

rating: some bad words.

A week had gone by at Capsule Corporation without any significant events. Bulma seemed to have moved past Vegeta's provoking behavior during a cruizd they were on, although there'd been a slight increase in the amount of teasing remarks she sent at the man's head.

But all in all, all that did was give the hot-heads something to row about. Something that gave both the spark they needed.

The saiyan prince had gone back to training in the afternoons, with the exception of the days he was too immersed in an argument with the heiress of Capsule Corp. Little did he know today would be one of those exceptions. And it all started out with an innocent request...

"Vegeta, could you open this jar for me? It's stuck."

"No."

Vegeta, who was eating a sandwich on the couch wearing a pink hawaiian shirt with all the button, shorts, and slippers, didn't even bother to look up.

Bulma, her blue hair in a ponytail, wasn't considering giving in that easily.

"Aw c'mon Vegeta, wouldn't you open this jar for me? Pretty please with sugar on top?" she cooed, batting her eyelashes.

"No."

The prince was still refusing to look up; something Bulma Briefs, most important female in existence on earth, didn't take lightly to.

So she shoved the jar of pickles in front of his eyes so he could no longer ignore it.

"Open it."

"No."

"And why not, if I may ask, your majesty?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"I'm not your servant, woman. Find someone else to humor your petty human troubles, and anyway I already took some pickles."

"Not your servant – what the? And I am yours?"

"Of course you are." He looked up at her coldly.

The blue-haired beauty gritted her teeth. 'Of course you are'... the disparaging way in which he dared to utter those words... and the presumption of that man!

"I am not your servant, you arrogant piece of ass!"

"Oh but you are, woman," Vegeta replied, smiling maliciously.

"I am not," she hissed.

"If it helps you to believe otherwise – be my guest – although it won't change the truth."

"It is not 'the truth', Vegeta!" Bulma screamed, throwing the jar of pickles at him.

The glass jar shattered into a thousand pieces with a deafening crash as it hit the saiyan's head. Liquid dripped off his face and the pickles fell onto the floor. He smiled; he had not bothered to evade or deflect the jar. He'd wanted to impress the simple fact of how utterly untouchable he was to the woman. He smirked.

"Would you look at that – you opened it all by yourself."

Bulma's face was reddening.

"You could have caught the jar, you bastard."

"Oh I could, but that seemed unfitting. You would've had your way."

"What the fuck is the problem with opening a stupid jar for a lady?! How much do I ever ask of you? I'm giving you a place to live and all the food you could ever dream of for crying out loud!"

"My point exactly – you're my servant. Now get me some more of your mother's sandwiches, woman – I'm hungry."

"You – you... There are just no words for how disgusting you are!"

"Aren't there?"

It was obvious that it was the saiyan prince who was in charge of this argument and not the human heiress, no matter how this displeased her.

"I am not playing this game with you, you asshole. I'm more sophisticated than that."

"You are – so sophisticated that you can't bring yourself to go to those aristocratic meetings your father wants you to accompany him to and so sophisticated that you walk around screaming and jumping around most of the time. Talk about 'refined'."

Bulma's temper got the best of her as she mindlessly started punching on Vegeta's abdomen muscles through his open shirt. She left an imprint on the red carpet as she charged him and kept punching even though she could see he wasn't even forced an inch further into the purple couch her mom loved so much.

"So much sophistication. I see it now," the prince said sardonically.

She stopped. "Fine," she started, "but this doesn't change that I am not and will never be –", she eyed him for impact, "YOUR BLOODY SERVANT! and what's with that goofy mustache you look like Ned Flanders".

"My mustache is macho, and I can hear you just fine, woman. No reason to yell." vegeta lays back and put his feat on the coffee table" now Just get me those damned sandwiches."

"NO" she screamed, livid. Vegeta smiled as she stormed out of the room and into the kitchen. "Too easy..." said Vegeta.

"Mom, you are not getting Vegeta any more sandwiches today! He's had enough," Bulma greeted her mother as she entered the kitchen.

"But why, sweetie? What if he's hungry?"

"I don't care if he's hungry; he's impolite and he's taking both you and me for granted! He's walking all over us with his royal attitude, mom. We shouldn't be letting him order us around; we should be making a stand!"

"Oh I don't know, honey. I don't really mind; and a man can't possibly cook for himself!"

Bulma's jaw dropped. "You don't seriously mean that, do you?"

"Why wouldn't I? Aren't you being a little ungrateful, Bulma? I mean he did save you all from those horrible monsters on that faraway planet. That poor man has to have endured many hardships – and he still stands so proudly," she blinked a tear away.

"He didn't – he – oh never mind.. Sometimes there's just no arguing with you! Ugh.. do you have any cookies? I feel awful."

"Sure I have cookies. Here you go, sweetie. Is it that time of the month already?"

"Mo-hom!" said bulma in embarrassment.

Bunny giggled as her daughter snatched the cookies out of her hand and stormed off. Sometimes she was still a teenager...

"I know his weak spot hehe, I shall have my revenge on the sayian prince" Bulma wispered" Bulma whispered.

******************************************

Next day

Vegeta get's up in the morning and sits on the couch again and yells "where the remote, woman!"

"it's right under your bum, honey" answers bulma while bringing him a sandwitch "here you go, my prince".

"I see you learned your lesson, woman" vegeta says with a victory pose.

Bulma: "would you like some pickles with that, baby"

Vegeta: " ofcourse , I can't have my morning sandwiches with out pickles"

Bulma:"alright, and don't worry, I won't ask you for anything this time" *walks away*

"hmm, something smells fishy. and it ain't this tuna, ow well" Vegeta thought.

He turn's on TV and a justin Beiber video is on. "OMG, what on earth is that?!, and why is it on earth?!"

get's up "Die little girl!" POWERS UP aims at the TV "FINAL F.. wait" he looks through the window and see's Bulma talking to Goku who is holding a jar of pickles.

and suddenly that competitive part of the male sayian brain started to pule with anger and jealousy. then he smashes the door open and yells"KAKAROOOOT! get away from my property!"

Goku: "Chill-out Vegeta, it's just a jar of pickels"

Vegeta: "Not that property, the one with the blue hair".

"you asshole" whispered Bulma.

Vegeta: " what was that" looking at bulma with a vain sticking on his forehead.

Bulma: "nothing, you said I should find someone else to open the jar, and I known this monkey since he was a little boy, and mom isn't home today so I had to find someone to open it, it was stuck".

and while they were arguing goku was gobbling up the pickles.

Vegeta: "hay, what the hell do you think your..."

Bulma: "calm down vegeta, I taled him he could...", "Silence,Woman" yelled vegeta" and you, give me that jar".

Goku: " uh uh" goku refused.

and Vegeta started chasing Goku but when he cought him the jar was empty. "there is already another jar back home, get down ".

they went back home through the hole in the wall. and bulma said she was going shopping, and there was a jar next to his sandwich and it was closed, so he reached for it and looked around for bulma. then sat down opened the jar, and took one pickle out " mmm, finally my precious" and close his eyes an was gonna take a bite.

an suddenlt " YOYNK!", the pickle was goen and Vegeta bit his finger and looked behind him "KAAKAAROOOOOOT!, look what you made me do".

Goku: woops sorry.

Vegeta: I'll chase you to the end of the earth.

Goku: "earth? Sorry vegeta, I am on my way to kaio for some training".

vegeta jumps towards him. but Goku immediately uses Instant Transmission and escapes with the jar.

Vegeta:" My Pickle NOOOO!"

"what?" picollo said while he entered the room with bulma.

Vegeta: "not picoloo, I said pickle you idiot, wait didn't you say you were..." he paused and continued"were you spying on me".

Bulma: "I lied, and I made you open the jar of pickles and you didn't eat one, MUWAHAHAHA, VICTORY IS MINE YOU DARN DIRTY APE!".

Post by Killer_of_trolls (1,563 posts) See mini bio Level 11
hope you guys enjoyed it, I was LMAOing while writing it.
Post by SuperperfectCell (528 posts) See mini bio Level 10

that was realy funny! the piccolo part was awsome lol.
Post by SSJjanemba (2,176 posts) See mini bio Level 11

kinda a long story :P 2 lazy to read

Post by Killer_of_trolls (1,563 posts) See mini bio Level 11
@SSJjanemba
read a little bit further everytime you come here, you don't have to read all of it at once. :)
Post by DBZ_universe (15,661 posts) See mini bio Level 17

Good job... it was really awesome and funny. I actually was picturing the whole thing on my head. 5 stars on this.

Post by Fire Star (3,730 posts) See mini bio Level 16
Moderator

@DBZ_universe said:

Good job... it was really awesome and funny. I actually was picturing the whole thing on my head. 5 stars on this.

Post by Killer_of_trolls (1,563 posts) See mini bio Level 11

@DBZ_universe: @Fire Star:

over 9000 thanks to you both, it's nice to here some complements here after all that time I spent off-line because of the username change BS. my account got missed up and I had to contact Ethan, man, it took him 2-3 weeks to answer each reply.

Post by DBZ_universe (15,661 posts) See mini bio Level 17

Just cam here to read it again...

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