[Tournament] Vice Character Finishing Move Showdown

Topic started by willyvereb on Feb. 9, 2011. Last post by KeitaKuhn 4 years ago.
Post by willyvereb (5,943 posts) See mini bio Level 17
We would really use some more contribution.
@Haofan123: @Dream: You were both active in the previous rounds. Can I still count on you?
We have two days till the deadline. I really don't wish this tournament to end up dead.
Post by Haofan123 (3,675 posts) See mini bio Level 13
Sorry, I got a lot on my plate. I dont hink I can. But why dont you take a crack at it? You're really good.
Post by willyvereb (5,943 posts) See mini bio Level 17
@Haofan123: That's areally a pity. Well, better luck in the next round!
As for my finishing move submission:
Of course I will, but I wished to keep my post for the end.
Oh well...I guess I give it a shot. Maybe it would motivate some people to join.
Post by willyvereb (5,943 posts) See mini bio Level 17
Uhm, I almost forgot this one. 
 @mydeathlyways: I guess it's the same with you as well. Pity, we need more replies here.
Alright, let's get to work!
Here comes my finishing move:
Target: Blackbeard
My character: Savaris Luckens

"Zehahaha! You're no match for the invincible Blackbeard!" Gloated the huge pirate. A single hit sent Savaris crouching on the ground. "*pants* Hah-hah. That ridiculous strength…I admit, I underestimated you a little. You are no normal pirate, aren’t you?” asked Savaris. That guy was strong. Savaris could barely hide his excitement. “Of course! Who do you think I am? Weaklings are no match for me. I eat guys like you for breakfast!” Savaris frowns at the pirate’s comment. Now he did it! “Oh, I see…” Explosion of Kei spew off the dust, blocking vision with a thick screen. “…Then you really don’t mind this either, right?” From above Savaris landed a rabbit-punch on Blackbeard’s nape. “Oaaaaah!” He definitely felt it. Suddenly another Savaris appeared on the front and pounded his fist against the pirate’s chin. He followed up with a ruthless stomach kick. “Guh-“ The attack sent the pirate flying. But before he could land two blades of wind hit him from both sides, Kazeretsu. Soon four rods of light hit the pirate’s limbs, nailing him on the cliff. “Gyaaah!” Blackbeard almost went blank from the pain. “Don’t cry, it’s unsightly!” Said Savaris as he slammed a huge Kei ball to the pirate’s chest. “Gaaah!” Two other Savarises appeared and bombarded Blackbeard with a flurry of punches and kicks for painful seconds. “Done already?” Voiced Savaris his disdain to the half-dead pirate. All 8 Savarises revealed themselves, 7 clones and one original. They shouted at the same time in an inaudible noise, Roar Kei. The ultrasonic vibrations entered Blackbeard’s brain and caused massive internal bleeding. Finished. The clones instantly dissipated the moment the battle ended. “Ah, I overdid it again? HAHAHAHA!” Savaris released a maniacal laughter. He should really learn how to hold back.

Post by cfatalis (19,150 posts) See mini bio Level 15
Bump Requested
Post by willyvereb (5,943 posts) See mini bio Level 17
@cfatalis: Thanks.
Well, it seems instead of rising, the attention is dwindling from this tournament. Too bad, maybe it's too much strain for people to think out a nice post.
Still, I have to note everyone: 6 hours until the end of Round 3. If you wish to participate, please do it quickly!
 @OmegaMekix: @Superevil225: @Nevermind: I also have to ask the judges to rate the two posts. It's not that many, but we must follow the scheclude.

Post by Nevermind (942 posts) See mini bio Level 8
@willyvereb:  Body parts being destroyed from the inside is always a plus with me. Going with that. :)
Post by KeitaKuhn (658 posts) See mini bio Level 9
May I use Yukari Yakumo from the Touhou Project series of video games? There is an doujin-anime and Yukari does have a voice actor.
Post by willyvereb (5,943 posts) See mini bio Level 17
@KeitaKuhn: Any animesque or anime-style character is allowed in this tournament. That includes animes, anime movies, light novels, mangas, video games and visual novels as well as anything similar.
Example: Ragna from Blazblue
On the other hand you cannot use non-anime style characters (unless you got permission for that from either me or one of the judges). Examples:
Captain America from Marvel or Albert Wesker from Resident Evil (even though the later is coming from a Japanese videogame)
Post by cfatalis (19,150 posts) See mini bio Level 15
Okay Both Kuma and Willyvereb manage to stay faithfull to the character they are using 
the rough and quick berserker combat style of Guts and the quick overblows of Savaris Luckens
Now the bad  before the good
Kuma's is a bit coming in shorter , although he used the paragraph to give into the setting, while in any other RPG this is a plus, in a finishing move styled description this seem lacking, especially when the description is rather short compared to what Willyvereb is doing , I would also prefer a more dramatic and feral finish rather than horizontal maybe a jumping plunge/slash? or a diagonal slash , I don't know horizontal seem to controlled
Willyvereb  manage to somehow elongate it longer than what i would like, IMO it should have ended with pinning BB into the cliff and then finishing with huge/numerous "roar"  and should have probably end with blackbeard splattered all over , internal brain bleeding doesn't seem so imaginable as "FUCK YES AWESOME" after all that stuff Savaris is doing 
Kuma manage to describe the  setting quite fine, giving us background insight and having the feel of "rising hero" ,he would have earned much more plus if he choose a better rising hero(shonen archetype) than guts, Guts didn't have the ambience of the shonen comeback, but eh I differ this is covered by the feral act of the Berserker armor and could be seen/viewed as a rampaging hero act which fit Guts a bit more. as it is not that detailed, readers can imagine what is happening in the scene, this is more of a "Action description"style of writing, his root as a DM showing here
Willyvereb goes to full way to another route, classic full descripting reversal , something that would fit a storytelling media, like a novel or movie, the descrition is detailed while not detailing the damage done to Blackbeard body, except for the last one which seems to be fitting end, lacking but fits the whole explanation of Roar. As said before it details every action that Savaris Lucken took to beat the crap out of Blackbeard. it also have the current bite of Savaris character, which spell "overkill" all over it , I like this kind of thing
the scoring
Willyvereb get the scoring of 8.9 from me  
Nice description, i would think you can do better, the Archer description is way better if combined with the details with this one, is it the word limit ?
Kuma get
yes just a bit more Kuma , just a bit more , if you had managed to ascertain and not give out any other impression the Feral beating of Blackbeard or choosing the shinning hero archetype instead of the brooding and dark Guts, you would have win
Post by willyvereb (5,943 posts) See mini bio Level 17
@cfatalis: Well, I had to shorten my post somehow. For someone longwinded like me the extended 300 word limit is still a little short. Also Blackbeard is one hell of a monster in durability. He groans and screams all over but never put down for good. By the way that Kei ball that impacted with Blackbeard's chest was the same that made an entire hill explode. Indeed, I could've used a more violent method for the last attack but I chose to play worksafe. Making Blackbeard explode with Kouge would be a little excessive. At least Blackbeard experienced both the most elegeant and the ultimate techniques of the Luckens family.:p
So I did win by a hair's breath. Alright. time to do this then:

Round Four, Start!

This time I have the luxury to choose the target. Hm, who would it be?
The King of Arogance and at calling people "mongrels", of course! It's going to be amusing, I hope.
Target: Gilgamesh
Start date: March 4., 2011 
End date: March 11., 2011 
Give your best shot! Bonus points for blurting out a fitting one-liner before pwning him.
Good luck to everyone!:)
Post by cfatalis (19,150 posts) See mini bio Level 15
@willyvereb: that is the whole idea , Excess that would make Slaneesh go green with envy , Savaris lucken characterism 
If possible i want to extend the wording limit really 400-500 should be nice , it's near exactly HS grade paragraph
Post by KeitaKuhn (658 posts) See mini bio Level 9
Oh my god... Gilgamesh is the current target? Oh man, this person I have in store for him is perfect! 
Target: Gilgamesh 
Attacker: Yukari Yakumo(Touhou Project) 
It is said that when two kings get together, they will either talk, or fight. The king of Heroes stood before the alledged 'Queen of Gensokyo,' Yukari Yakumo. Sitting at a table in the middle of a field drinking tea, she looked up as a cold breeze blew over them. "I suppose you are curious as to what I can do, correct?" She asked. 
The golden knight smirked and nodded. "Yeah. Don't bore me, okay?" He chuckled as he raised his arm. With a snap of his fingers, the tips of various weapons materialized. "Gate of Babylon." He said, firing off his arsenal of Noble Phantasms. 
The Youkai of Boundaries sighed and took flight. With grace befitting one from Gensokyo, she dodged each and every projectile(occasionally grazing them for the extra points.). "You know, attacking from a distance will not work." She said as she snapped her fingers. Suddenly, the space around her began to tear apart as hundreds of tiny knives fell from the sky. Raising her parasol, she blocked them and watched Gilgamesh struggle. 
Raising his arms above his head, the knives bounced off his armor, scratching and tarnishing it. After a minute, the attack stopped. "You..." He cursed, pulling out his true Noble Phantasm-- Ea. "Enuma... ELISH!" He cried, firing off his most powerful attack. A red beam roared towards Yukari. 
"...Just as planned." She said, snapping her fingers. Suddenly, Gilgamesh found his attack appearing above his head, blasting him into the ground. "You should learn more of your foe. I manipulated the boundary of here and there, causing your attack to warp around and hit you." She chuckled as she sat back down drinking tea. Looking back at the charred remains of the King of Heroes, she chuckled. "Eiki will have fun deciding where he goes..." 
Okay... that was fun to write.
Post by willyvereb (5,943 posts) See mini bio Level 17
@KeitaKuhn: Not bad at all. I found some parts to be rather original.
Thank you for contributing to the tournament.
Post by KeitaKuhn (658 posts) See mini bio Level 9
I made one major mistake after a look though... I implied that Gilgamesh dies like a normal human. Derp.
Post by OmegaMekix (3,847 posts) See mini bio Level 16
I liked the interactions of the two characters. Very nice job. You were also able to go through the battle quickly and deliver a satisfying final ending. It was also original to see someone's finishing attack bounced back at them, that is amusing and very cool. The description could use more work to help with the imagery but otherwise you did a very good job.
8 out of 10
Post by KeitaKuhn (658 posts) See mini bio Level 9
Thank you. I was considering using Yukari's most famous spellcard where she hits the opponent with a train though... but that would have been too 'lol' Also, it wasn't 'bounced' back, but rather warped above his head.
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